It's been 89 days since I last wrote a blog post. We're still in quarantine, but a vaccine has been developed and I hope that I'll be able to go back to school by the start of the school year. I remember in the past I had to write a blog post every single day in order to check everything off my to do list and count everything as done. I've been looking at my past blog posts and it's so surreal to think that my fourth grade self was so stressed and under so much pressure. I wrote multiple blogs talking about how I was stressed, and also very pressured. Then again, I also was very last minute in the past. My blog post from February 27, 2017 talked about how school reminded me of failure. Failure, because one bad grade can make your self esteem drop, then you may not ever be as motivated as you were in the past. In four years not much has changed, I'm still stressed every day thinking about the future. What if I don't succeed? What will I do? I'm so scared. I've always been told I have to work hard if I want to succeed and I really do try my best but sometimes there's absolutely no motivation. Being told to work harder or be like other people just adds onto the pressure, I'm really so scared about my future. Time flies. I'll be in college before I know it but it's just so scary to think about. In the future, there may be less jobs because of AI, it'll be so much harder to make a living. I think about the future a lot but I also know very well that I'm not trying as hard as I could be. I know that many people live paycheck to paycheck, but I know that I don't want to live like that. I don't want to be so stressed about paying my bills and taxes to the point where it's almost impossible to enjoy life. I just don't want to be a failure. It may sound unreal but I've been stressing about my future and college since second grade... I want to work harder, I want to be smarter, I want to better, but at the same time I really don't know if I actually want to put in the effort to achieve these goals. I waste too much time and I know it, I should delete all my social medias, stop watching so many videos, stop playing games, stop reading webtoons, and stop keeping up with kpop, because they're all reasons I waste time. The thing is I just can't, they're what make me happy, but at the same time it's also what's dragging me down. I wish I had enough self control to just study every second of the day, like those high achievers, but I just can't. I'm too dependent on these things that make me smile, I feel like if one day I just stopped doing all of this I wouldn't be able to be happy. Although I don't want to let go of the small things in life that make me smile, I think that if I did I would be able to focus more on school, get better grades, do more extracurriculars, and do a lot more studying which will ultimately lead to a better college and a better life. Perhaps my view of life is messed up, maybe I can be successful and happy without doing well in school, but the more I think about my future, the more I think how essential college is, and I end up getting more stressed. To get my mind off education and other things, I watch videos, play games, and do the other things that make me happy, but they're really just wastes of time, and every night when I go to sleep I think about how I wasted my day doing all of that instead of being productive. Really, I want to be successful, but I think I'll have to be 100x smarter and work 100x harder, but do I have the motivation?
Thursday, January 14, 2021
Saturday, October 17, 2020
Society
Why is society so different from what it used to be? Young kids are forced to stress out about their future and are put under so much pressure. At such young ages, kids have to think about what they're going to do, how they're going to achieve it, and what they'll do after that if they are able to achieve that. If they don't reach their goal, or basically attending a good college, what will they do after that? College is the most important thing right now right after money, and one of the best or only ways to make money is to attend college. Kids in elementary school are already stressing about college because their parents have put that burden on them. Parents spend tons of money to get their children to learn ahead and force them to participate in so much all just for college. Some parents don't think about how much stress it can bring to a mere child. In the past college was not even half as important. Even education was not that important. Nowadays if you want to be able to succeed you need a simple piece of paper that proves you've spent majority of your life in school. College proves that you've spent years learning things that will rarely ever prove helpful in the future, but the thing is, if you didn't go to a good college, what are the chances that you'll be able to make enough money to pay rent, feed yourself, or to start a family? If you don't have this simple piece of paper, the chances of being successful in life, to be able to earn enough money, are so slim. Why are kids worrying about this? Why? And there are so many kids who aren't fortunate enough to have fun or even eat because of money issues. Money is simply just a concept. If you think about it there really isn't any worth in a piece of paper with a mark that proves it's authentic or a round coin that doesn't actually hold much value. Kids these days have to worry about so much but for what? This burden that's brought onto them is so painful. In today's world, the rich will only get richer, but they will rarely try to help the less fortunate who are actually in need of the money that the rich people will never spend. Society has completely changed and life is much harder for people than it was in the past.
Monday, August 17, 2020
A Long Time
It has been a long time since I wrote a blog post. My siblings write blog these days, but I don't know about what. School is about to start, which seems unreal since I have completely lost track of the days. Everyday I'm stuck at home, and although I try to be productive, I end up doing something else really fast. At first, the thought of staying at home all day was horrible, but now I'm okay with it. I have a lot more free time, and I actually like that. I can still contact my friends so being ta home is okay. Also, blogger had a weird update and I don't know if I like it.
Friday, April 3, 2020
Looking Back
COVID-19 Situation
EDL, or emergency distance learning, has also been a very big change that I'm still not very used to. I personally think that it's harder to learn without a teacher in front of you. For me, we don't even do video calls or anything, our teachers just assign us homework, they don't really teach us. It's not a very effective way of learning, but at the same time EDL is kind of nice. I can stay at home all day, and finish my work before lunch, so I can have free time in the afternoon. I'm still very surprised that this happened, and it's like we're living in history right now. In the future, people will read about the 2020 pandemic that caused everything to stop. I just want everyone to stay healthy and safe.
Disneyland Park
This blog post was last updated on 12/31/19, and it was for Disneyland, but I don't remember which trip to Disneyland it was supposed to be since there were three days for it. I will be publishing this on 4/3/20, over a year later.
This was from day 1 on 4/2/19